Why I Want to Quit Being a Mom

I'm tired and oh, so weary. I'm tired of having to be the police about phones, texting, video games, social media, spending, bed times, school, plans, what they watch, & what they do. It is endless and exhausting. Why is it the mom who has to stay on top of who they're texting, what they're texting, what they're looking at, how long their playing, how it's affecting them, who they're hanging with, what they're being exposed to, and on and on it goes.

Teenagers are the word “EXTREME” in every way. They use their phones to the extreme (texting, gaming, looking, playing, selfing, scrolling). They want to be with friends to the extreme. Their emotions are extreme. Their laziness is extreme. Their relationships are extreme. Their arguments are extreme. Their obsessions are extreme.

Why is it me, the mom, they always “hover” around, ready to pounce on my phone, my laptop, or ask if they can do “the next thing”? Where is Dad in all of this? He is never the one that has to deal with it incessantly, unendingly. The only time he gets involved is when I huff and puff, tell him what I'm dealing with and demand that he help resolve it.

It all feels so unrelenting and emotionally exhausting; sometimes I just want to run away. I've created (by giving it to them) and allowed (by giving it to them) a beast (mainly smart phones) that can't be controlled. It opens a kid's world to so many other things that the possibilities become endless. Their world becomes their own, & I am treated like a villain for trying to stay in the loop and on top of their devices, relationships, and accounts. They think they deserve privacy.

I long for a world without devices. I long for when you had to stay in touch with a person through writing a letter or visiting them. I hate the instant access everyone has, to every single person, every single moment. I hate that teens can't delay their responses. Everything is instant. Instant gratification. Instant responses. Instant access. They hardly ever even put their phones down. It's like an appendage, permanently attached now.

I hate that I feel trapped, knowing that we can never go back in time and change it, and that I would create WW3 if I took away a smart phone or an IG account or video games. I feel like a prisoner held captive to my kids and that's even with restrictions in place, video games removed for the summer, and no internet allowed on their devices. It has stolen my joy, left me stressed and overwhelmed, and fearful of the future. I want to crawl in a hole and ignore it all, but I can't. I want to say, “I quit”, figure it out yourself. Or better yet, I resign, Dad can take over (& who knows what all they'd get into then since he wouldn't even have a clue how to try to stay on top of it).

I'm just sad and grieving that they can't have the world I had without smart phones. It had enough drama without that added in and complicating and multiplying all the “issues” by the millionth degree. It's just all so hard to navigate and I'm weary.